Extremely Horny Government Officials Get Duped by Chinese Spy

In a pretty alarming story from Axios, it appears at least three Democrat government officials developed extensive, sometimes romantic, relationships with a Chinese spy. Per the Axios story:


A suspected Chinese intelligence operative developed extensive ties with local and national politicians, including a U.S. congressman, in what U.S. officials believe was a political intelligence operation run by China’s main civilian spy agency between 2011 and 2015, Axios found in a year long investigation.
The woman at the center of the operation, a Chinese national named Fang Fang or Christine Fang, targeted up-and-coming local politicians in the Bay Area and across the country who had the potential to make it big on the national stage.
Through campaign fundraising, extensive networking, personal charisma, and romantic or sexual relationships with at least two Midwestern mayors, Fang was able to gain proximity to political power, according to current and former U.S. intelligence officials and one former elected official.
Even though U.S. officials do not believe Fang received or passed on classified information, the case "was a big deal, because there were some really, really sensitive people that were caught up" in the intelligence network, a current senior U.S. intelligence official said.

The most notable target of this intelligence operation appears to be Eric Swalwell, a California Congressman, who is perhaps most well known for potentially soiling himself live on television:

He also ran for president in 2020, but this alleged shart made much more of an impact in the public sphere.


According to the Axios report, Fang "took part in fundraising activity for Swalwell’s 2014 re-election campaign" and "helped place at least one intern in Swalwell's office." There are, however, no indications that the Chinese operative made direct donations to Swalwell's campaign. For his part, Swalwell's office provided this statement to Axios: ""Rep. Swalwell, long ago, provided information about this person — whom he met more than eight years ago, and whom he hasn’t seen in nearly six years — to the FBI."


Fang didn't infiltrate just Swalwell, as she also allegedly infiltrated at least two mayors of Midwestern cities over a period of about three years, engaging in "sexual or romantic relationship[s]" with them, per Axios. One of the two Midwestern mayors even believed that Fang was his "girlfriend" and insisted the relationship was genuine despite the clear age difference between Fang and himself.


So, this is scary stuff, I urge you to read the entire Axios story (as we're clearly just summarizing and goofing on these idiots). Chinese Intelligence has clearly learned how to penetrate our government, not only through Wall Street, but through the zippers of extremely horny and irrational men. I fear that there is no way to protect ourselves against the obvious and overt horniness of older men who are susceptible to the slightest flattery from a young and attractive woman. We've been exposed and I don't think there is any way this genie is getting put back in the bottle.


Just think about how extremely horny and ultimately destroyed that one gullible Midwestern mayor must have been. When presented evidence that Fang was a Chinese spy and his knowledge that she was significantly younger than him, he held steadfast to the belief that this woman was genuinely his "girlfriend". There is just no saving someone who is THAT level of horny.


We need to immediately seize the phones of every government official in this country to check their Facebook Messenger chat logs to look for any Chinese women (or men, no judgement here) complimenting them on cars, guns, or other collectibles posted on their profiles. This might solve the problem, but it's likely already too late.


With respect to Swalwell specifically, the Axios story doesn't suggest he was romantically involved with this woman, but he is still a gigantic turd. For reference, here is Swalwell this past July, complaining about the Trump administration's concerns about Chinese interference in our elections:


Swalwell may not have banged this woman, but he did help her place an intern in his office. Why? I'm assuming it was because she helped him raise money and win re-election in 2014. Pretty swampy and extremely concerning that Chinese intelligence helped place an intern in the office of a US Congressman. Fortunately, Swalwell is so useless that most of the intel they gained probably surrounded how his office smelled like poo and how he spent most of his day watching Underdog cartoons.


In all seriousness, this is pretty terrifying. There should be no doubt that we're either in the middle of or on the precipice of a new Cold War with China. They are an adversary, they are THE adversary we need to worry about for the foreseeable future.


Thankfully, we have a stalwart like Joe Biden to protect us against this formidable antagonist:


Oh. . . well that's not good (side note: Tucker is a national treasure).


So yeah, this is troubling and Americans need to keep an eye on these types of stories to make sure we keep the pressure on politicians who are too cozy with the CCP.


Stay frosty and God Bless America.



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Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib