Err Travel.

There has been a lot happening in the world of Biscuits lately, work has gotten way busy and on the homefront we (and by we, I mean most of the work is being done by my magnificent #besthusbandever and the kids) are building a new patio around the barbecue. In addition to being constantly busy at work, my boss and I just traveled to a training meeting in Houston last week.

Its been a long time since I have been on a plane, personally I prefer a road trip, but driving to Houston was not an option. I don't mind the flying part, its the "being in the airport" I hate. I remember as a young person just showing up at the airport and getting on a plane and going wherever you're going.


Then 9/11 happened and air travel became a situation of super heightened security measures, and honestly I'm ok with that too. It does not hurt my feelings that my shit gets scanned before I climb inside a metal tube with 100 plus strangers, and get hurtled through the air. I'm not sure why we weren't doing this before.

Anyone who knows me however, knows that I am impatient af, so waiting in the airport and arriving early to catch the flight aggravates me. I'm also the cheapest woman most folks have ever met, so I get real offended by airport prices for basic "waiting around" necessities.

This Houston trip, however, added a new layer to my disdain for air travel.

First let us address the Rona "wear a mask" bullshit. They don't work folks. The cloth "face underwear" that all of us are wearing in some sort of "we are all in this together" LARP, are ineffective, personally I keep my mask in my bra and whip it out as I walk in to stores and loudly announce to anyone who will listen "Put your face underwear on!" then when I'm outside the sliding doors, i whip it off and make a big production of stuffing it back into my brassiere.


People look at me and some folks straight up comment on it. I don't care. its stupid. its unsanitary to begin with and it makes me super agitated to have my face covered, and that's not even addressing the fact that because I am breathing into a mask I have had a non-stop sinus problem since the "mandate" was handed down.

When my boss announced that we were going to Texas, I knew that meant flying, four flights actually and many hours in an airport, with a mask on. I considered just quitting my job, it stressed me out that bad, not because I'm afraid of germs, because I detest the confinement of the mask and I started calculating and literally counting down the minutes I would have to be in it.

As it turns out, this was nothing compared the toxic wokeness of pandemic air travel. Everywhere you turn its "CDC this" and "for your health that" and guidelines and procedures. Couple that with the fake diversity messages glaring at you from every wall as you walk to your gate, and its a nightmare of epic proportions.

On the way to Houston, I flew Southwest. I hope I can say that here, because personally I can never say enough good things about southwest airlines, I LOVE them. they are efficient, they are pleasant, they load and unload their planes in the same no nonsense manner a mom stuffs eight middle school boys in a Toyota Corolla to go to a wrestling tournament. No playing around, get in there, stuff your bag wherever it fits and lets get the fuck outta here, I've got shit to do.

This appeals to me on many levels, everyone on the plane is on a mission to get there and operating on a "don't be a jackass" honor system. Southwest Airlines lets people be themselves, and I'm here for it. I have flown on other airlines and its never been my idea to do so, and its always been a disaster.

I always say if Southwest doesn't fly there, neither do I. If I ever decide to get on a plane again, It will be a Southwest plane. Except for wearing the mask, this part of the trip was as delightful as air travel can be considering the metal tube, surrounded by strangers, hurtling through the air etc.

The training meeting, as is the case with all training meetings, could have been a workbook and a zoom call, but that's another story. Also Texas isn't as open as I had hoped, if you are patronizing a business that's a chain, you still have to wear a mask.

On the way back I flew on another airline, I will refrain from saying which one, but they have been in the news lately for prioritizing wokeness over staying in business and turning a profit. (y'all are smart, I'm sure you'll figure it out) Their safety presentations were highly produced videos of super diverse SJW's talking through masks, (really? in a video? Come on, man.) and the flight attendants spoke to everyone like its the first day of kindergarten. The whole airline operates under the assumption that they need to tell people how to behave, kind of like the government, and its insulting.


Fun fact, they aren't the only airline that's completely thrown the "people pay us money to go from here to there" business model out the window and decided to get into the pandering business. I found this from another airline that I patronized once. On that trip they lost my boss's luggage on a one hour non stop flight to Chicago. Maybe they should concentrate on getting better at putting stuff on the right plane, This is why I never, never, ever check a bag.

Perhaps, and I'm just brainstorming here, as a corporation that relies on the continued patronage of satisfied customers, you should keep your politics to yourselves and get better at flying planes. I personally don't give a rats ass what the pilot looks like if he or she can fly a plane, doesn't matter what their story is, I'll never meet them, can they get this large canister of humans from point A to point B without incident? That is all anyone sitting in this human Pringles container cares about.

If the pilot represents a underserved community or has overcome some sort of impossible odds to be there, fantastic. Can they fly this plane? Yes. Good. End of discussion. Nobody has ever sought me out specifically because I'm a woman to do business with me, I assure you nobody cares what I've been through or the obstacles I've overcome, (its quite a story folks, I can promise you that.)

People only want to know, can I do my job?

Before anyone gets their face underwear in a bunch, I am impressed with anyone who can fly a plane, including John Travolta and any woman who can safely land me back on solid earth - including this gal:

As a matter of fact, I wish Monique had been available to fly my plane home on Wednesday night when my flight got canceled, about four minutes before we were scheduled to board, because "we don't have a first officer for this flight."

When exactly did the pilot call in sick? Even a line cook at Applebee's has to give two hours notice when calling off. Get your shit together. Go get Monique, she will get us there.

There will come a time when all of these great inspirational stories of odds overcome and diversity aren't going to matter because many corporations have taken their eyes off the ball, which is earning and keeping our business.

A note to all corporations in America: If you want to hire and train a diverse workforce, pay your employees more money, look for ways to save fuel and get more efficient, DO THAT. Good for you. It can only make your business more profitable, which is good for everyone, EVERYONE.

Use your social media platforms to promote your business, but stay out of mine.

And Monique, please let me know when you decide to go work for Southwest, I'll book a flight and you can explain to me how planes work, until then, don't let them use you as woke window dressing, I know that you know you're better than that.