Dolly Parton Cougs-It-Up for Husband's Birthday

We've written about Dolly on this website before. She's a cultural and (should be) a feminist icon. A woman who came from nothing, Parton used her talent to lift herself, her family, and an entire county out of poverty.

And at age 75, she looks pretty amazing, appears to be very horny and loves to celebrate her man on his birthday:

Before I continue, I have to share a joke I read as an adolescent (great parenting, mom and dad) in a book called Truly Tasteless Jokes. Ready?

"What do you call the sweat between Dolly Parton's breasts?"

Mountain Dew.

I don't know what made me think of this joke . . . oh it was probably Dolly's enormous bosoms.

Anyways, this is such a power move from a power woman. Usually people post old photos of themselves online to remind everyone how great they looked when they were younger. Not Dolly, who calls the 1979 version of herself "a little butterball" and says that she's "string cheese now".

Good for her. Good for her husband. You can understand how they've been married for 57 years! We should all hope that our partners are willing to spice things up with some nostalgic dress up when we're in our seventies! That's #relationshipgoals like you hear about.

I only wish the video would've allowed us to see the reaction of Carl Thomas Dean, Dolly's husband, when he received the gift. I can only imagine it was something akin to when John Travolta opens the mysterious glowing briefcase in Pulp Fiction.

Absolute glorious mounds of love, from the glorious woman you love. Can't be beat.

Happy Birthday, King Carl, congrats on 57 years of keeping Queen Dolly happy. Congrats on the gift. Congrats on the birthday BJ you probably received last night.

And Dolly, you still got it - you old hornball.

Happy Wednesday and God Bless America.