• Burnout

(D)efund Police; Fund Our Weird Religion Instead

If you're my age, you remember the golden age of the campus atheist: A dorky hat wearing, acne riddled, Funyuns munching philosophy major who made what should have been a very enjoyable course focusing on nothing but Milton into an 8 A.M. death slog.

The Campus Atheist always had the same basic fallback, and at the time it was admittedly difficult to counter it: "I would never join a religion because all religion is brainwashing." The second part was always easily refutable, because it's a silly, bad-faith statement. The first part, though, was tricky. Campus Atheist had to actually do something for you to refute it, and since they weren't about to step into St. Mary's at 7 on a Sunday morning, you had to take them at their word.

Mission creep is funny, though. And today, Congressional Democrats put the finishing touches on the religion of Leftism.

You see, what makes a religion?

- Sacred Texts (Das Kapital; Rules for Radicals; The New York Times)

- Centers of gathering for the faithful to learn about their beliefs (Universities)

- Set meeting times and locations for ceremonial rituals (CNN, MSNBC, NPR, and Broadcast TV programming

What we were missing, however, was identifying sacred clothing for ceremonies. We all should have seen it coming, but fellow lover of adorable animals, Gracie, called this a month ago in a moment of truly remarkable perception:

This, of course, is the Ugliest Scarf, because it's blatant pandering, and dare I say, cultural appropriation. Go back up and look at that header. Your stomach is churning and it has nothing to do with race.

You see, they're going to defund the police and use the money to fund their own religion's causes. Ana points out that "defund" means exactly that, since there are a million better words Democrats could have chosen if they didn't mean "eliminate completely."

Ana must be an English teacher, or an English speaker, or someone with functioning frontal lobes. Let us know which it is!

Lord of the Twitter Underworld, Cuffy Reincarnate, took a slightly more satirical view and a great thought about the whole deal.

The scarves are symbolic of the Left's desire to fund their own religious system, one that definitely doesn't want law enforcement sneaking around stopping them from doing things like redlining, or embezzling, or doing whatever it is Al Gore does. It wouldn't have been hard to say "We think police departments receive too much discretionary spending and want to divert some of those funds to mental health causes." People could have gotten behind that. Notice how they threw in that favorite of vague pet projects, Homelessness, in there? If you believe newly free funds from law enforcement are going to buy houses for homeless people, my friend @dempstermd probably has some Florida swamp land to sell you.

Thankfully, TransTexan called this for what it is. This is just the opening ceremony, now that the Democrats have their official Leftist Vestments.

Since cultural appropriation is no longer a thing, I propose Trump dress in traditional dashiki from hereon out. Can't cry racist anymore, Buds.


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©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib