CNN Gets Help Learning What it Means to be a Journalist

After countless journalistic missteps leading to libel settlements

Embarrassing non-apologies

Staged Covid-19 quarantine exits

Acts of stupidity words cannot describe

Yet the on air "personalities" seemed shocked that protesters were attacking them

Flabbergasted at the behavior coming from the network their parent company AT&T's Warner Media called in help that is used to educating those on the same stage of brain development as CNN anchors.


The Sesame Street gang loaded up their stuff and traveled down to Atlanta to teach the anchors the true meaning of "Big J" Journalism


Once the Sesame Street gang arrived in Atlanta they went straight to work teaching the basic fundamentals of journalism such as

Cookie Monster with study aid

Once the Sesame Street gang arrived in Atlanta they went straight to work with Cookie Monster teaching the staff basic fundamentals of their craft such as "J is for Journalism" and "I is for integrity"





Sadly these lessons were not taken to heart as the CNN staff immediately began complaining about Cookie Monster not sharing his cookies with the 99 percent who do not have cookies. This being in spite of the fact that Kraft Services had an entire table of cookies in the other room available for all who wanted one.


I wanted apple Jim Acosta was heard screaming

Straight forward logic and reason having failed the Sesame Street crew thought that perhaps breaking into groups for fun activities might work. This was only partially effective as some such as Don Lemon seemed to be enjoying themselves while others, like Jim Acosta, we're just complaining that they received the wrong juice box.

Sesame Street while used to dealing with petulant children was really struggling with number of temper tantrums thrown by CNN on air personalities. Not having a child psychiatrist or any children's chewable Xanax with them they decided to try singing and dancing. This was a major hit with most of the crew.


Brian Stelter is surprisingly light on his feet

While it cannot be said for sure that any of this taught the CNN anchors anything about journalism it did, for the time being at least, stop their temper tantrums and we have to take the small victories we can. Before Sesame Street left Atlanta they did have one last special lesson explaining to the anchors where they will be living if they don't clean up their damn acts




THINGS ARE SO MUCH MORE FUN WHEN YOU COMMENT

  • Facebook
  • Instagram

©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib