Your author is faced with the most unbearable admission of inert human error. A confession of shock and disproportionate malfeasance. Truly, I have sinned.
I thought Canadians were pussies.
But by golly I saw the light and it came from the front of a 2008 Peterbilt. Well, a bunch of them.
The Freedom Convoy is the next chapter in this mighty ally’s story of resilience. Truckers from every province. Thousands of rigs. Thousands of people. All peacefully standing in the path opposite to passive acceptance of totalitarian medical mandates.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew an incongruity struck with discord in this assumption of inherent weakness. We have all heard of the utter ferocity our northern cousins applied to our common enemies in the first and second World Wars. Cool Runnings taught me that negative numbers also applied to temperature. And every bit of history surrounding the settlers, explorers, and indigenous peoples of the Great White North is nothing short of an outright battle of sheer human will against an unforgiving and unrelenting natural adversary.
Why did I mistake these freefolk for whiny libs?
Simple. Their government. And characterizations made popular by South Park.
Successive viewings (totally not required under threat of abuse by management) of the Flappr docu-series “The French Revolution - Good Thing, Bad Thing?” and recent Covid-related events in Canada and Australia have set my mind to pondering both my orb and our national origin.
Why did our great country decide to throw off the shackles of a tyrannical, tea taxing monarchy but our siblings to the north and southwest...way southwest...ultimately did not? Sure they’re “independent nations” but come on…Lizzy’s still on the money.
There's obviously something to be said of the religious freedom which remains core to our foundation and success. Some even argue that genetics played a role with the United States being populated with visionaries and ADHD imagineers while Canada was half French (lol) and Australia was a prison (lol). But what truly set us apart from the other colonies?
Geographic location and successful cultivation of tobacco.
So how do I tie this all up with a neat bow?
Canada’s truckers have more testicular fortitude than any Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or Green Party leader in 40 years. They have laid down their careers, their earnings, and their literal freedom to face down the tyranny some Californians are still clamoring to live under. Now their GoFundMe has been frozen and they may even face intervention by their own military.
Some of you wouldn't question your boss, who refuses to promote you after six years on the job, when suddenly he had the authority to make medical decisions for you. Some of you were too scared to ask your kids what they were learning in school let alone protesting pedophilic grooming at a PTA meeting. Some of you need to learn what exercising your rights and stretching the legs of liberty looks like.
Support for the “Honkening” is simple:
1. Buy a carton of cigarettes and a case of donuts and mail them to your mom’s cousin’s friend who owns and operates a rig in Saskatchewan.
2. Encourage your congresspeople and senators to publicly denounce the Canadian government’s transgressive Covid policies and specifically Trudeau’s conflation of the concepts freedom and racism.
and 3. Take to Social Media to protest the media’s utterly dishonest coverage of the Great Honk.
I call upon each of you to fulfill your solemn oaths to our stars and stripes and know that while social security and voting rights don't belong to non citizens, that oath of allegiance does have something that belongs to everyone: Liberty and justice, for all.
And if the worst is to transpire and we must liberate our English speaking neighbors to the North, remember that just as Robin Sparkles had to die to make way for Robin Daggers, so you must reach for your inner emo and raise the cry alongside those brave Canucks, “Honk, Eh?”