WASHINGTON DC - President Joe Biden has officially requested admission to the European Union, a central component to his rebranding of Build Back Better to the new minted Just Deal With It America plan.
With soaring inflation and the supply crisis worsening, the public has taken notice that President Biden’s failure can no longer be chalked up to a stutter or windy staircase.
Indeed the President’s own supporters have embraced the failures and have publicly advocated that American’s should lower their expectations and accept the slimmer pickings of a European lifestyle.
This is not lost on Mr. Biden and his team as the beleaguered administration takes urgent measures to reshape the Build Back Better agenda into Just Deal With It America.
Unnamed sources have informed us that the President came up with the name as the Duchess of Cornwall, Camila Bowles, gasped and grimaced in response to President’s flatulence during their recent meeting.
The President’s move responds to the decades long cries of many prominent democrats wanting a more European lifestyle. The purported comments we’ve heard from those within and without the administration reflect much excitement and a chance to make a better Europe.
Following the announcement, the US Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, was allegedly heard yelling “Trains Rule” in a comically thick French accent as Governor-Elect, Stacey Abrams, stated her desire to undo the many voter ID laws of various European countries, something she dubbed as Jim Crow 3.0.
Ms. Abrams, a democrat cause celebre and salacious novelist, reportedly told colleagues, “I will see to it that the MLB never hosts another World Series in Europe until these laws have changed.”
It has also been reported that a group of democratic Texas legislators are scheduling a delegation to the EU headquarters in Brussels to protest the restrictive abortion laws also seen throughout Europe.
“It’s like Hitler won World War II and appointed Donald Trump to implement the misogynistic social policies that currently exist in Europe” said one Texas democrat in response to questions about the Euro delegation.
Reports from the White House say the Vice President was looking forward to not having to worry about borders anymore and is very excited to get back to Europe. The Vice President’s spokesperson stated “with such an impressive and impactful trip to Paris, the Vice President knows the Parisians are clamoring for her return.” The President did not return calls for comment.
Cox - Flappr Fake News Political Correspondent