• Burnout

A Very Flappr Thanksgiving

This has not been a good year. At the very best, it has been a difficult year.

And yet here we stand, still celebrating Thanksgiving--just in secret one supposes--as we hide from the Leftist Gestapo bent on ruining everything.

It's important to remember what we're thankful for this year, because it's going to remind us what we're fighting for over the next two years. (We're assuming the libs get smacked in the midterms.)

Your dear columnist, for one, is grateful that we did not resurrect woolly mammoths. Given how the rest of 2020 played out, that seems like it would have just compounded problems. Maybe when life settles down again, we can use that technology to resurrect the dodo, a personal favorite animal of the man writing this.

Over at Goon HQ, the boys were eager to share what they're grateful for.

JAC is an honorary Goon, and he's clearly thankful that he's not a SJW, since that would make sleeping with his wife problematic.

Fellow "Article III Cast" host Kyle is grateful for the Constitution, and those who would preserve it.

Fatty is grateful that Governor Blackface didn't sic his ghost army on the guns and rights of freedom loving Americans.

Speaking of freedom: Mix is thankful that he lives in the state that should serve as a blueprint for the rest of the GOP.

Dutch is grateful for the gift of the present.

While Leroy is grateful for all our good friends, and for women. Republican and Orphaned Whig men across the land can agree with that.

Freshman Goon Weaponiz'd is grateful for life's simpler pleasures. Your dear columnist shares his thanks for the first one, though he'd prefer a Dark and Stormy with Gosling's Bermuda Black Seal to a beer.

Croc is thankful for the gift of life. We can all agree with that.

Glam is grateful for the gift of art. And her subjects are grateful for palm sized turkeys and cans of yams.

Duckman is grateful for all of you.

And so am I.

Thank you for reading these columns, supporting myself, the Goons, and everyone here at Flappr.

A blessed Thanksgiving to you all. And God Bless America.


  • Facebook
  • Instagram

©2020 by Flapper.

Keep the Faith. Hold the Line. Own the Libs.

Mathew Foldi is a Lib