A Political Poem
Twas two nights after Labor Day and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The white clothes were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Catherine of Alexandria soon would be there
The neighbors were nestled all snug in their beds
As visions of impeachment danced in their heads
My gal in her kerchief, and I in my cap
Had just turned on “The Sting” so we could work in a nap
When out in the street there arose such a clatter
I leapt from my bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
And there was Antifa having a bash
The moon lit the breast of a newly downed statue
In my panic I tried to chase them with shampoo
Then what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by 8 Lib Pandeers
With an oafish, boor driver so shifty and wayward
I knew in my heart it must be Bob Woodward
More rapid than hummingbirds his dumb thoughts did fly
All I could think was “who the hell beliefs this fish looking guy?”
“ORANGE MAN BAD” he screamed from his seat
The flappity old man jowls resembling spoilt meat
“TO THE PRESS TO THE PRESS I HAVE STORIES TO BREAK”
The sound of his voice made me long for a stone and a lake.
And with every raspity breath that he took
A searing hot hurricane did my legs shook.
With a tome full of second hand, made up B.S.
Only a severe opium addiction could cause this dreamed up mess
He jumped into tv to whine about Trump
With all of the charm and credibility of Quasimodo’s hump
As I looked out past him, and back at Antifa
I realized ol’ Woody was just White Wiz Khalifa
He’s got lots of thoughts and he’s full of hot air
But at this point, there’s just nobody who cares
So I told him to stuff it, and turned back to the riot
And with the power of Trump, I made them all quiet
And that is the story September 9th,
The day that Bob Woodword failed in his strife.
You see, Woodwords like money, and he’s selling a book
By sitting on Trump news, he’s only a crook
The left doesn’t care, and so why should we
When we can go to the library, and mock Bob for free.