
Burnout
- Dec 24, 2021
- 15 min
A Flappr Christmas Carol
Chapter One: Nero was dead, to begin with. He had, in fact, been dead for some time. The constant grind of slaying thots and racking up...

Burnout
- Nov 3, 2021
- 2 min
Edward Durr: American Folk Hero
The Best Race Last Night Was in New Jersey Last night, some cool stuff happened. Parents swept anti-CRT Republicans into control of...

Burnout
- Aug 11, 2021
- 4 min
A Modest Vax Proposal
It is a frightful scene, to log onto Twitter--or even to venture from one's home, to see the latest shrieking of the COVID Zombies...

Burnout
- Aug 10, 2021
- 2 min
Emperor Obama Celebrated His Birthday This Weekend
This past weekend, former Leftist-in-Chief, Barack Obama, celebrated his 60th birthday. The event itself was criticized by the greater...

Burnout
- Jul 26, 2021
- 1 min
Gavin Newsom Trying to Make California's Homelessness Issue Even Worse
So late last week, this little nugget was dropped by Gavin Newsom - the bond-villain-looking, Governor of California: Astounding move...

Burnout
- Jul 14, 2021
- 1 min
New Anti-CRT Bill An Exercise in GOP Failure Theater
Normally, Tom Cotton is one of the more enjoyable congressmen, but this is basically everything that frustrates writers like this one...

Burnout
- Jun 25, 2021
- 3 min
Goon Trolling the ACLU
It's been a long time since the Goons did anything on Flappr. To be sure, Goon HQ is busy and lots of big things are always happening....

Burnout
- Jun 23, 2021
- 1 min
Joe Biden is a 90s Era TV Commercial
Spot the difference. Biden: Lesko: Diabeeeeeeeeetus: Oddly Creepy Globe Life Family: We elected the Dumbest Insurance Salesman in America...

Burnout
- Jun 18, 2021
- 4 min
The End of The Pizza Delivery Boy?
In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that this columnist would never eat Domino’s anyway, as he is in a long running...

Burnout
- Jun 16, 2021
- 2 min
Some People Never Learn
Most right leaning Nullifier Libertarians like yours truly have a complicated opinion on pornography. It’s clearly unhealthy for men,...

Burnout
- Jun 14, 2021
- 2 min
Joe Biden is 2021 America
We’ve all seen the time magazine cover of Joe Biden by now. We’ve even seen some great parodies. Look how slack jawed and vacant he...

Burnout
- Jun 7, 2021
- 2 min
Jay Cutler is the Anti-Hero We Need
Despite growing up in the Chicagoland market, your dear columnist was never a Bears fan. During my formative years the Bears didn't...

Burnout
- May 13, 2021
- 4 min
MLB Attempts to Match NFL in Tone Deaf Championships
The Oakland Athletics are going to look into relocating. Sports fans can confirm that this is something that's probably been coming for a...

Burnout
- Apr 1, 2021
- 3 min
MLB Threatens to Move All-Star Game from Atlanta Over Georgia Voting Law
Major League Baseball is apparently at least kicking around the idea of moving the All Star Game from Atlanta, because of the new Voter...

Burnout
- Mar 29, 2021
- 3 min
They Robbed Us of the Oral Roberts Cinderella Story
Oral Roberts Men's Basketball was almost in the Elite Eight of this year's NCAA Tournament. They're not though. They lost by two points...

Burnout
- Sep 9, 2020
- 3 min
Kaepernick Added to Madden; Football Aficionados Everywhere Perplexed
I didn’t care about Colin Kaepernick’s protest when it started. Sure, it was tasteless (pig socks anyone?) and pointless (protests are...

Burnout
- Jun 21, 2020
- 7 min
NPR Claims "Right-Wing Extremists Are Turning Cars Into Weapons;" Should be Defunded
There’s been a lot of talk about “defund this” or “defund that” over the past few weeks. Anarchists have pitched hissy fits demanding...

Burnout
- Jun 9, 2020
- 2 min
Chicago Mayor Tells Alderman He's "Full of Shit" for Worrying About Looting
When Gateway Pundit can dunk on you, it's a bad day. Don't get me wrong. There were lots of places with way better reputations running...

bartleby
- Jun 9, 2020
- 2 min
Dude Had a Whole Fish Removed from His Rectum
So, Flappr prides itself as being a sex positive website. Whatever you fine folks are up to in the privacy of your own home, we're good. ...